Watching God At Work

Thoughts on 20 Years of Marriage

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while. This past February was our 20^th wedding anniversary. I’ve also had two younger siblings get married in the last year or so, and that made me think about what encouragement I would give to a young Christian couple just starting out. What would it have been good for me to hear at that point in my life?

My third reason for thinking these things through was a bit more negative. A friend “from away” came to visit and saw the things that are genuinely hard about my life. Seeing it through her eyes really challenged me to think about why I am happy in my marriage, despite those things.

Today we were sitting in the ER waiting room with our 18-month-old (something is wrong with his collarbone). We had been there for probably 5 hours. The baby was sleeping on Stephen, and I was sitting next to them. A lady was sitting near us, clutching an ice pack to her severely swollen face. Occasionally she rocked and moaned. Then she started to cry. I wanted to do something to help, but I could not make myself move --paralysis brought on by shyness and fear of rejection or embarrassment. Stephen handed me the sleeping baby and quietly brought her a box of tissues and sat next to her.

“I’m sorry I can’t take your pain away, but I can sit with you for a while.”

And he just sat there next to her. “It’s a hard day for you, isn’t it?”

When the tissue box was empty, he asked if he could get her another one.

A little later, if he could get anything else for her. The answer was no.

That was all. The nurses called her in, and we continued to wait.

Stephen is just as introverted as I am. That genuine kindness is the fruit of the Spirit working in him. The goodness, faithfulness, self-control that drives him to act when inclination and inertia would seem to prescribe sitting still and pretending not to see is the work of God.

This is what I would say to a young Christian couple who are following the Lord. Sanctification is real. The Holy Spirit is at work in you and in your spouse, and He will use every circumstance of your lives together, good and bad, to make you more like Jesus. Ideally, as you each grow closer to the Lord, you will grow closer to each other. Sin can get in the way, though. Ah, pray, pray, pray to see as He sees, to accept as He accepts, to love as He loves.

Because here’s the thing. Sanctification is not going to look the way you think it should look. Even if you are deeply in love, before long, you will see your spouse’s faults quite clearly. Your priorities for change in your spouse may not be God’s priorities for change. If you dig in and try to take control of the sanctification process, you will not only fail, but you will also fail to see how God is really working in ways you didn’t expect, and how beautiful that is.

Our married life has been in some ways a descent into chaos. As the years have passed, there have been increasingly more unfinished projects and piles of stuff everywhere, in every room of the house. I’m not exaggerating. This was and is hard. Even more difficult have been the unmet deadlines and the failed courses. None of these things matter to him the way they matter to me…to him, the stuff is merely physical, external. The failures are opportunities to get right back up and keep going…and he always does. I thought executive function would be God’s first order of business when it came to Stephen’s sanctification.

I now see that God is at work in him producing the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. These are the Spirit’s priorities. After 20 years, I have been able to see these things unmistakeably, growing in him. Wisdom too. Lack of executive function may very well be a permanent “thorn in the flesh” never resolved this side of glory. And this, good and bad, wonderful and hard, is meant to help sanctify me too.

There is a straight line from the moment I realized I was in love with Stephen and the scene in the waiting room today. I remember that he was praying for a mutual acquaintance, and I thought, “He really cares for that person’s soul.” And then I realized, “I want to marry him.” (At the time it was hopeless and unrequited, but God worked it all out in time.) The scene today came from the same place, but it is deeper now, more ingrained, more principled, more worked out in practice.

It's pure grace, nothing less, how God has allowed me to go through life with “my person”. I’ve told my hard here, but there are things about me that are just as hard for him. And yet we are both happy in our marriage. The hard stuff is real, and the grace of God is real too, keeping us.

If you keep looking to Him, his grace will keep you too.

And grace will lead us home.

 

Note: I wrote this several months ago, but at the time felt it was too personal to post and share. However, my husband has encouraged me more than once to share it anyway. I pray that it's a blessing for someone out there.

Changing How I Plan

I have been working hard to get my school year plans together in time to start next week. It's quite a challenge with my boys going into Grades 12, 10, 8, 5, and K. And then there's the 1-year-old. I am using The CMEC with a few tweaks and adjustments.

The past few years, I always made a comprehensive timetable (schedule) that laid out each school day for each child. This worked extremely well for me. Our school days were focused and ran as smoothly as I thought possible with four students plus baby or preschooler. There was never any question in anyone's mind what anyone should be doing at any given time...we just had to glance over at the big schedule posted on the wall. Moreover, while each day of the week was different, every Monday, every Tuesday, etc. of the term followed the same pattern so we were able to get into a comfortable groove. 

 

However, while all this has been an incredible and often painful workout for my executive functioning skills --have I ever told you how much I hate planning?-- it really has been doing very little for my students' executive function. I've been feeling more and more convicted as my oldest sons' high school years slip away that they really need to practice doing this for themselves. But how could I let go and have our days still go smoothly?

Changing gears is so hard for me. I just didn't have the mental energy to figure out how to do this in the last couple of years with a challenging pregnancy in 2023 and a baby who needed surgery (cleft lip) in 2024. But this is our year. 

I've made a skeleton timetable for my oldest three. (I'm doing a regular timetable for my fourth in grade 5 and a loose one for my fifth in Kindergarten.) It is a weekly spread that includes all the things we do together, like meals, daily news, chores, Shakespeare, Plutarch, and picture study. And then it has blank space. They will have to fill in when they're doing each subject. 

I have also scheduled a daily check-in with all three (at different times) to make sure they are:

    -filling in the timetable

    -logging work completed as they go along (I'll have them mark on their timetable itself)

    -orally narrating any lessons that they haven't done a written or drawn narration for

    -doing work in their Book of Centuries, Commonplace, and Nature Journals 

I am sure we will be adjusting a lot of things as we go. Please don't take any advice from me on this yet...I am just sharing a work in progress. I am hoping that as time goes on and they get used to this we will be able to check in weekly rather than daily. But I know they will need the accountability and coaching at first.

There is an added challenge this year as my oldest is taking a university course, and the oldest two are taking a composition class from Wildwood Learning Centre. These things are completely new to us so it will probably take a little while to figure out how to fit in homework, etc.

I will try to come back periodically and share how it's going. 

Family Picture Taking Shenanigans

 

These days, we just embrace the messy and crazy, or we would never have any family pictures at all. Stephen took these ones a few weeks ago.

Canada: A People's History - Our Schedule

 Someone emailed me to ask how we have used Canada, A People's History in our homeschool. I answered the email, of course, but thought I should put this information out there for everyone who wants to use this resource for Canadian history.

I loved this from the forward by Mark Starowicz:

“This is a narrative work, not an academic work. I was reminded of the importance of this when a high school teacher stood up in the huge plenary session of the conference Giving the Past a Future in Montreal in January 1999 and said, ‘There has been a narrative cleansing of Canadian history.’ He is right. We have bleached the dramatic narrative out of Canadian history and reduced it to social studies units in our schools. If you want a sociological history, or a military or diplomatic history, seek elsewhere. If you want to get a sense of what it felt like to be an eleven-year-old girl in the Loyalist exodus, a nineteen-year-old Hudson’s Bay Company clerk seeing the Rocky Mountains for the first time, or a terrified eighteen-year-old Acadian refugee at the Plains of Abraham, then this is the right book.”

We have used this 2-Volume set from grades 7-10 in our homeschool, though it could be used through grade 12, in my opinion. My third grade 7 student is now working through "Year 1" below, and I still really love these books. They are well-written and quote quite a bit from original sources. We usually do one 40-minute Canadian history slot each week for reading and written narration, and then at the end of the week we watch some of the TV series (available on YouTube) with the whole family. It would be no problem to let the books stand alone, though.

Content warning: There is a little bit about native spiritual/sexual practices at the beginning of Volume 1 that I didn’t feel comfortable with for this age and censored for my children.  This was an issue in the corresponding video too. It's at the bottom of page 3 and into page 4.

Also, as you get into the Modern era in Volume 2, I would recommend prereading as there are more mature and complex issues that you may wish to discuss with your high school students.

Year 1: 

                Term 1: pp 2-27 (…’then a star was lost in the sky never to be seen again.’) 

                Term 2: pp 27-55 (…’and the race to the New World began with new fervour.’)

                Term 3: pp 55-74 and 180-186 (…’new commercial relationship had been established.’)

Year 2:

                Term 1: pp 76-103 (…’she died in 1755’)

                Term 2: pp 103-135 (‘…his lofty ambitions were finally achieved.’)

                Term 3: pp 135-162 (…’almost 60,000 would be recently arrived Americans.’)

Year 3:

                Term 1: pp 162-178 and 218-243 (…’at the expense of the whole Canadian people.’) 

Please note that I skipped chapter 6 (except for a few pages at the end of Year 1) only because there was so much material to cover this year and we had already read a lot of supplementary living books on the explorers.

                Term 2: pp 243-285 (…’The surveyors withdrew.’)

                Term 3: pp 285-292 and Volume 2 pp 2-50.

Year 4: 

Please note that this year’s reading load was particularly heavy, and I did two Canadian history slots per week instead of one. Looking back, I think it may have been too much reading, and next time I might cut some out and highlight some of the main stories. But that’s a big job. I had students in grades 10 and 8 when we did this. I think ideally I would prefer to do this era no earlier than grade 9 or 10.

                Term 1: pp 52-136

                Term 2: pp 138-236

                Term 3: pp 238-322

I hope this helps some of you! I'd love to hear from you if you have used this series, and what you think of it.

Best Reads in 2024

These are not necessarily in order: 

Top Five Fiction 

The Road 

Les Miserables 

To Say Nothing of the Dog 

I Cheerfully Refuse 

The Princess Bride 

Top Five Nonfiction (except for Biography and Memoir) 

Much May Be Done with Sparrows 

Life Together 

Rembrandt is in the Wind 

Love Thy Body 

The Omnivore's Dilemma 

Top Five Biography and Memoir 

Beyond Mere Motherhood 

Being Elizabeth Elliot (also Becoming Elizabeth Elliot) 

Elizabeth Elliot, A Life 

The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street 

The Life and Thought of David Craig 

Top Five Fiction Rereads 

Jane Eyre 

Persuasion 

Mansfield Park 

Jayber Crow 

The End of the Affair 

Top Nonfiction Rereads 

Surprised by Oxford 

84, Charing Cross Road 

Midnight in Chernobyl 

A Child's Christmas in Wales 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth 

What about you? What did you read in 2024? I'd love to hear your recommendations!

Our Canadian History Choices in Forms 3 and Up

It has been a while since I've written about what we're doing in Canadian history. Last year I began using Canada, A People's History by Don Gillmor, Achille Michaud & Pierre Turgeon as my "spine" for my students in grades 6 and 8. I would normally recommend it for grades 7 or 8 and up through high school, but I had a precocious student in grade 6.

You may be familiar with Canada, A People's History as a video series put out by CBC TV. I believe the books are meant as a companion to the videos, but they easily stand on their own as "living books" on Canadian history. They are well-written and incorporate many first-hand accounts into the story. They are also well-illustrated with relevant art and photographs. They are in print, and very easy to find used at thrift stores.

This past year we were studying the time period between 1650 and 1800, so we began with "The Golden Age of New France" (Volume 1, page 75) to partway through "A Question of Loyalties" (we ended at page 162). Because we have three terms of 10 weeks each, and one 30-minute period per week for Canadian history (not counting supplemental reading of biographies and historical novels), I divided those pages by 30 to get our average weekly page count. My boys worked mostly independently, reading silently and then giving a written or oral narration.

This coming school year our time period is 1800-1900, and the page count (Volume 1 p. 162-292 and Volume 2 p. 1-50) is too high for the amount of time we have for it. I decided to skip "Journey to the Sea" (p. 180-216) because my boys have already covered the material fairly thoroughly using another book for Canadian geography (Five Roads to the Pacific by Neta Lohnes Frazier). It may still be a little much to cover in one study period per week, so we may have to adjust as we go along.

Please note that I have not read the parts of these volumes that I haven't specifically mentioned. As always, pre-read (or at least pre-skim!). These books are idea-rich and there are many things that you may wish to discuss with your students.

About half way through last school year, we started to watch the corresponding videos on YouTube with the whole family on Fridays, and we all really enjoyed that as a recap of our studies in Canadian history. While my younger students had been using other books, they were studying the same time period in history so they found the videos relevant to their studies as well. (Please note that there are battle scenes, so they may not be suitable for sensitive children.)

Some of you may wish to know how this compares with other Canadian history spines generally used around this age. I don't have many on my shelves, but I can compare briefly with Janet Lunn and Christopher Moore's The Story of Canada (often used around grade 6) and Robert Bothwell's The Penguin History of Canada (often used in high school). 

Lunn and Moore's The Story of Canada  is similar in beauty and illustration to Canada: A People's History. I think the reading level is very similar, but CaPH is considerably expanded both in length and in interest because of the first-hand accounts that are incorporated. If you have a grade 6 or 7 student that is a bit bored with SoC, you may find that CaPH will rekindle their interest. On the other hand, if you need less reading for a slower reader, SoC may be more suitable to your needs.

Unlike CaPH, Bothwell's The Penguin History of Canada is not illustrated and is not as immediately attractive as CaPH. The reading level of PHoC is higher, while still being engaging and rich in ideas. High school students who have grown up with the types of books in the Ambleside Online or the CMEC curricula will have no problem with PHoC. My own tentative plan for my oldest is to continue to use CaPH through grade 10, then switch to PHoC for grades 11 and 12. (I say tentative because I would like to look at the Ambleside Online recommended Short History of Canada by Desmond Morton before I decide.) However, I do think CaPH is robust enough to use through the end of high school if you only have time for one, or if history is not your student's first love and you want to stick with a colourful, high interest option.

I would love to hear what you have chosen for Canadian History in the upper grades, so please comment!

Easing In

I feel like I should put "Easing In" into quotation marks.

This year, my oldest is in Ambleside Online Year 7. I also have a Year 5 student, a Year 3 student, and an extremely eager Kindergartner. Add in a seven-month-old and you may begin to grasp the chaos here. 

Planning was a special challenge this year. I had gotten into a scheduling groove over the last few years, but babies and schedules don't mix, at least not at my house. I have had to regress to a routine. Don't get me wrong, I loved my easy-going routines when all my children were little. But I find it hard to get all the work done (without taking all day) now that my children are getting older.

I ended up with a loose plan, inspired by the schedules at Piney Woods Homeschool. I can be fairly inflexible about my plans, but this year I decided beforehand that I would keep tweaking every week until the days were going fairly smoothly. Each child has their AO schedule (order modified slightly and colour coded) plus a sheet of paper with their "Daily Independent Work" and "Work With Mama" lists. The idea is that everyone gets started on their independent work while I spend time with each one, youngest to oldest.

My Year 7's list looks like this (the colours refer to the way I've colour-coded his AO schedule):

Daily Independent Work (about 2 1/2 hours)

Enrichment Narration (purple): 15-20 min

Math 30 min

History Narration (red): 30 min

Copywork 10 min

Science (green) 20 min (Narration OR Science Journal or Nature Journal Entry)

Piano Practice 15 min

Narration (blue) 20-30 min

---

All of this work should be done before doing computer time (alternate  Duolingo and Typing and Coding practice)

Work with Mama (about 2 hours) (I expect an increase in independence in some of these areas over the year, but for now I need to be close by, anyway. Most of this is done at the same time as his Year 5 brother, so I "kill two birds with one stone".)

Poetry 10 min

Writing 20-30 min

    Written narrations each week will be done on

        -New Testament

        -One reading from red or blue category

        -One reading from green category

        -One current events topic from the past week

    Fridays will be a fun writing exercise (Bravewriter).

Shakespeare/Plutarch/Beowulf (alternating) 20 min

Dictation/Grammar (alternating) 20 min

Latin/French/Grammar of Poetry (alternating) 30 min

Map Drill 10 minutes once per week

News and Current Events story read and discussed at lunch

I also have a list of things they can choose to do in the afternoon, hoping to get to each item about four times per 12-week term.

Drawing Lesson (YouTube or from a book)

Microscope Activity, or field work from Signs and Seasons

Piano Lesson

Composer Study (YouTube)

Shakespeare Play (YouTube...we watch as far as we've read that week.)

Nature Journaling

Nature Walk

Painting Lesson (YouTube or from a book)

Baking Lesson 

----------

Of course, his is the longest list. AJ(5), who also insists on his own list, has:

Poetry 5 min (A Child's Garden of Verses)

Miquon Math 10 min (we play with Cuisenaire rods and casually talk about math concepts that come up.)

Reading Time 10 min (I read him a story. Pinnochio is the current one.)

Learning to Read 5 min (He is learning to read three-letter words. I wouldn't push if he wasn't ready, but he is. Very.)

I spend time with AJ first. This fills his love tank so he is more happy to go off and play on his own when he's done.

I decided to "ease in" this week. I gave the boys their back to school presents on Monday morning (school supplies that somehow seem much more special for being wrapped up), and we started with everyone doing math plus one reading and narration. Somehow this managed to fill the whole morning, so I felt a bit of trepidation about the whole plan.

Tuesday was awful. But then, Day 2 is always terrible. I tried to have everyone work through their Daily Independent Work lists. Again, this more than filled the morning, and this was WITH the baby having a wonderfully long morning nap.

Wednesday morning I had to go to the doctor for some bloodwork. When I came back, everyone was working on their lists. I quietly started the "work with Mama" lists, youngest to oldest. It went really, really well! My oldest did not complete his independent list, but I was happy with what we accomplished.

Thursday morning I got up at 7:00 and found SA(12) doing his math. We hit it out of the park that day. Everything was done by lunch.

And then came Friday. It was a bit like Day 2 again. SA was extremely stressed about getting everything done...so much so that he developed some hives. (He is a conscientious ISTJ who will put a lot of pressure on himself to follow the plan as written.) I will have to keep an eye on this.

So we had two good days out of five, though every day had things to be thankful for. I'll be tweaking a bit this weekend, but not hugely yet. I have to give us all time to settle into some sort of flow first. I will make a better (slightly simpler) checklist.

I took time to count three things I was thankful for every day. Here are some of my favourites:

-MM(8) fell in love with "Big Joe Mufferaw" (a Stompin Tom Connors song scheduled on Ambleside Online's Canada page.)

-Basic Christianity by John Stott seemed to touch a chord with SA(12). This was a personal substitution I made in the curriculum when I was unable to get How to Be Your Own Selfish Pig for a reasonable price. I think I've made a good choice there.

-Writing time went very well this week. This made me happy because I've decided that writing (written narrations, copywork, dictation) is going to be a particular focus this year. I saw some good advice as I was planning my year: "Choose one thing to do really well, and let everything else be good enough." Writing is that thing this year. Everyone had really good attitudes about it, and did really well with focusing on putting their ideas on paper without worrying too much about getting all the spelling and grammar correct. (This is a challenge we've been working on for a while, and we seem to have made a leap forward since last school year.)