School Education Chapter 4: Rights of Children as Persons

This blog post is part of an on-going daily series this month as I read (very quickly) through School Education by Charlotte Mason. Join me! Pick up your book and read a chapter, or find it free online at Ambleside Online.

Quick Summary

There are a few areas in our children's lives where we can practice "Masterly Inactivity":

Play - Give them freedom of choice, and time and space to use their imaginations.

Work - Allow them to stand or fall by their own efforts. Let them suffer the consequences of not doing their work rather than constantly prod them with reminders or incentives.

Friends - Trust them to choose good friends, and to realize for themselves in time if they have made a mistake in this area.

Spending Money -Teach them good principles of money management, saving and spending, and then leave them free to make good decisions (or suffer the consequences of bad decisions.).

Opinions - Carefully form your own opinions, and hold them strongly, but do not try to control the opinions of your children. Instead, teach them the principles, and leave them free to apply them and form their own opinions at the right time.


Quotes

"There is a little danger in these days of much educational effort that children's play should be crowded out, or, what is from our present point of view the same thing, should be prescribed for and arranged until there is no more freedom of choice about play than that about work." (p. 36)

"Boys and girls must have time to invent episodes, carry on adventures, live heroic lives, lay sieges and carry forts, even if the fortress be an old armchair; and in these affairs the elders must neither meddle nor make." (p. 37)

"We all know...the pleasure children take in doing anything which they may do their own way; anything, in fact, which allows room for skill of hand, play of fancy, or development of thought. With our present theories of education it seems that we cannot give much scope for personal initiative. There is so much task-work to be done, so many things that must be, not learned, but learned about, that it is only now and then a child gets the chance to produce himself in his work. But let us use such opportunities as come in our way." (p. 37-38)

"'They felt their feet,' as the nurses say of children when they begin to walk; and our non-success in education is a good deal due to the fact that we carry children through their school work and do not let them feel their feet." (p. 38)

"...we do not let children alone enough in their work. We prod them continually and do not let them stand or fall by their own efforts." (p. 39)

"What we must guard against in the training of children is the danger of their getting into the habit of being prodded to every duty and every effort... Marks, prizes, exhibitions, are all prods; and a system of prodding is apt to obscure the meaning of must and ought for the boy or girl who gets into the habit of mental and moral lolling up against his prods." (p. 39)

"It would be better for boys and girls to suffer the consequences of not doing their work now and then, than to do it because they are so urged and prodded on all hands that they have no volition in the matter." (p. 39)

"Where many of us err is in leaning to much to our own understanding and our own efforts, and not trusting sufficiently to the dutiful impulse which will carry children through the work they are expected to do." (p. 40)

"With regard to the choice of friends and companions, again, we should train children so that we should be able to honour them with a generous confidence; and if we give them such confidence we shall find that they justify it." (p. 40)

"The parents who do not trust their young people in this matter [spending pocket-money], after having trained them, are hardly qualifying them to take their place in a world in which the wise, just, and generous spending of money is a great test of character." (p. 42)

"It is our duty to form opinions carefully, and to hold them tenaciously in so far as the original grounds of our conclusions remain unshaken. But what we have no right to do, is to pass these opinions on to our children. We all know that nothing is easier than to make vehement partisans of young people, in any cause heartily adopted by their elders. But a reaction comes, and the swinging of the pendulum is apt to carry them to a point of thought painfully remote from our own." (p. 42)

"Perhaps this pious mother would have been saved some anguish if she had given her children the living principles of the Christian faith, which are not matters of opinion, and allowed them to accept her particular practice in their youth without requiring them to take their stand on Evangelical opinions as offering practically the one way of salvation." (p. 42)

"Children are far more likely to embrace the views of their parents, when they are ripe to form opinions, if these have not been forced upon them in early youth when their lack of knowledge and experience makes it impossible for them to form opinions at first hand." (p. 43)

"We all admire spontaneity, but this grace, even in children, is not an indigenous wild-flower. In so far as it is a grace, it is the result of training, --of pleasant talks upon the general principles of conduct, and wise 'letting alone' as to the practice of these principles." (p. 43)

Thoughts

The portion of this chapter on work was very convicting to me, and I need to think about how I will apply it. It is true, as a good Charlotte Mason disciple, I do not "prod" with incentives. However, I think I still do too much work together with my oldest son, and this is preventing him from developing his own initiative and "standing or falling by his own efforts." I need to consider how I can help him grow in taking ownership of his own work. It is past time to start making that transition. I am blessed in that he is naturally quite dutiful, and has a strong sense of "ought." I think he will do well when I practice some more "Masterly Inactivity."

I wasn't so sure what to think about the part of this chapter on children forming their own opinions. Read in a certain way, it could seem that she's saying we should not catechize our children in the distinctives of our own faith, but just teach them the broad principles of Christianity (ie. the things all Christians agree on). I'm not sure if that's what she's saying or not. In any case, I do agree that we should not try to control what our children think, and we should expect that our children will take what we teach them and what they learn elsewhere and form their own opinions. I also agree that we need to be careful to let them understand that good, godly Christians hold differing viewpoints on such issues as baptism (while agreeing on its necessity), end times (while agreeing that Christ will return), and many others without endangering their salvation, so long as they have put their whole trust in Christ for salvation. However, I see no problem with teaching my children what I believe, even in the minor points. What do you think Charlotte Mason is saying here?

Links

Practical Masterly Inactivity
Masterly Inactivity: On Knowing When to Let Go from Snowfall Academy


I will be taking a break over the weekend, and will be back Monday with Chapter 5.

School Education Chapter 3: Masterly Inactivity

This blog post is part of an on-going daily series this month as I read (very quickly) through School Education by Charlotte Mason. Join me! Pick up your book and read a chapter, or find it free online at Ambleside Online.

I have not read Sarah MacKenzie's book Teaching from Rest, but I have a suspicion that Charlotte Mason's often misunderstood concept of "Masterly Inactivity" means, if not exactly the same thing, at least something strongly related to it. If you have read Teaching from Rest, I'd love it if you would read chapter 3 of School Education as well and let me know in the comments if I'm onto something here. (Charlotte Mason's title would probably be Parenting from Serenity.)


Quick Summary of Chapter 3

Parents feel burdened and anxious with a strong sense of responsibility. "People feel that they can bring up their children to be something more than themselves, that they ought to do so, and that they must;" (p. 26) and that everything depends on them. They become "fussy and restless," (p. 27), forgetting that "purposeful letting alone is the best part of education." (p. 28)

Masterly inactivity is necessary in education to allow ideas to work themselves out in thought and action. An equivalent phrase is Wordsworth's "wise passiveness." The parent is able and willing to act, but wisely restrains himself when it is better to do so.

Elements of Masterly Inactivity:

Authority - "They are free under authority, which is liberty; to be free without authority is license." (p. 29)

Good Humour - as opposed to complacency and just giving in to whatever the children want to do.

Self-Confidence - "Parents should trust themselves more." (p. 29)

Confidence in the Children - Trust the children to live up to your expectations.

Omniscience of Parents and Teachers - They know what's going on, without interfering too much.

Free Will - "He is free to do as he ought, but knows quite well in his secret heart that he is not free to do that which he ought not." (p. 32)

Serenity of a Madonna - If mothers "would only have courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense," (p. 33) and even give themselves some leisure "without the children," they would find themselves much more able to maintain this attitude of masterly inactivity with their children.

Leisure - "Leisure for themselves and a sense of leisure in those about them" (p. 35)

Faith - We must trust that God Himself is working in the training of our children and realize that it does not all depend on our constant effort. Only then "We shall give children space to develop...and shall know how to intervene effectually..." (p. 35)


Quotes

"We ought to do so much for our children, and are able to do so much for them, that we begin to think everything rests with us and that we should never intermit for a moment our conscious action on the young minds and hearts about us. Our endeavours become fussy and restless. We are too much with our children, 'late and soon.' We try to dominate them too much, even when we fail to govern, and we are unable to perceive that wise and purposeful letting alone is the best part of education." (p. 27-28)

"...once we receive an idea, it will work itself out, in thought and act, without much after-effort on our part;..." (p. 28)

"Parents should trust themselves more. Everything is not done by restless endeavour. The mere blessed fact of the parental relationship and of that authority which belongs to it, by right and by nature, acts upon the children as do sunshine and shower on a seed in good soil. But the fussy parent, the anxious parent, the parent who explains overmuch, who commands overmuch, who excuses overmuch, who restrains overmuch, who interferes overmuch, even the parent who is with the children overmuch, does away with the dignity and simplicity of that relationship which, like all the best and most delicate things in life, suffer by being asserted or defended." (p. 29)

"Every time a child feels that he chooses to obey of his own accord, his power of initiative is strengthened." (p. 31)

"...it is precisely the distinction which we are aware of in our own lives so far as we keep ourselves consciously under the divine governance. We are free to go in the ways of right living, and have the happy sense of liberty of choice, but the ways of transgressors are hard. We are aware of a restraining hand in the present, and of sure and certain retribution in the future. Just this delicate poise is to be aimed at for the child. He must be treated with full confidence, and must feel that right doing is his own free choice, which his parents trust him to make; but he must also be very well aware of the deterrent force in the background, watchful to hinder him when he would do wrong." (p. 32)

"...the nervous, anxious, worried mother...will find them fractious, rebellious, unmanageable, and will be slow to realize that it is her fault; not the fault of her act but of her state." (p. 33)

"If mothers could learn to do for themselves what the do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play! If she would only have the courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents." (p. 33-34)

"When we recognise that God does not make over the bringing up of children absolutely even to their parents, but that He works Himself, in ways which it must be our care not to hinder, in the training of every child, then we shall learn passiveness, humble and wise." (p. 35)

Links

My post on this chapter from a few years ago: Masterly Inactivity: A Matter of Trust
Jen Snow's posts: Masterly Inactivity: What is It? and Masterly Inactivity: How Can We Live It?

See you tomorrow with chapter 4!

Practical Masterly Inactivity

My 6-year-old has begun to learn to play the piano. I found a little used beginning piano instruction book at Value Village and brought it home one day a few months ago. I started him off with one or two lessons, and then he took off. Without much more effort on my part, he has progressed to page 40 of his book. Every time he passes the piano, he seems to need to stop and play, just for the joy of it. He does not stick with the page, but plays his pieces backwards and inside out. He tries them in different places on the piano and hears how they sound different there. I could interfere at this point. "You're not playing what's written on the page." But I know this feeling ...it's how I learned to play myself as a child, and it's pure joy. He is "feeling his feet" in music, and I believe I need to stand back and practice a little masterly inactivity at this point.

And so I felt a sense of recognition when I read Charlotte Mason's words in chapter four of volume 3:

"In their work, too, we are too apt to interfere with children. We all know the delight with which any scope for personal initiative is hailed, the pleasure children take in doing anything which they may do their own way; anything, in fact, which allows room for skill of hand, play of fancy, or development of thought." (p. 37)

 " 'They felt their feet,' as the nurses say of children when they begin to walk; and our non-success in education is a good deal due to the fact that we carry children through their school work and do not let them feel their feet." (p. 38)

I love it when Charlotte Mason backs up what my instinct and personal experience were already telling me!

Charlotte Mason speaks of the use of masterly activity in several areas:

In their Play:

"There is a little danger in these days of much educational effort that children's play should be crowded out, or, what is from our present point of view the same thing, should be prescribed for and arranged until there is no more freedom of choice about play than that about work." p. 36

In their Work:

"...we do not let children alone enough in their work. We prod them continually and do not let them stand or fall by their own efforts." p. 39

In Choosing Friends:

"...we should train children so that we should be able to honour them with a generous confidence; and if we give them such confidence we shall find that they justify it." p. 40

In Spending Pocket-Money:

"The parents who do not trust their young people in this matter, after having trained them, are hardly qualifying them to take their place in a world in which the wise, just, and generous spending of money is a great test of character." p. 42

In Forming their own Opinions:

"We all know that nothing is easier than to make vehement partisans of young people, in any cause heartily adopted by their elders. But a reaction occurs, and the swinging of the pendulum is apt to carry them to a point of thought painfully remote from our own." p. 42

This last point was thought-provoking to me, and I plan to write about it next week.

Read Jen's comments on Masterly Inactivity in part 2 of chapter 3 here.

Masterly Inactivity: A Matter of Trust

Masterly inactivity is one of my favourite concepts in Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education. The phrase itself is all about balance. There is parental authority on the one hand, and a wise letting alone of children on the other -- giving them freedom to make right choices, take risks, and make discoveries on their own.

Charlotte Mason noticed that parents in her day felt a deep responsibility for the upbringing of their children. She felt this was a good thing, but that the anxiety and the "fussy and restless habit" it was causing in many parents was not helpful. (What would she have thought of the "helicopter parenting" of today?!)

"We ought to do so much for our children, and are able to do so much for them, that we begin to think everything rests with us and that we should never intermit for a moment our conscious action on the young minds and hearts about us." (Vol. 3, p. 27)

How can we as parents strike the right balance? Charlotte Mason mentions several factors, including authority, good humour, confidence in oneself and the children, and a sound mind in a sound body. I think the key element here is trust, though: trust in yourself, in your children, and most of all, in God.

Trust Yourself
"The mere blessed fact of the parental relationship and of that authority which belongs to it, by right and by nature, acts upon the children as do sunshine and shower on a seed in good soil. But the fussy parent, the anxious parent, the parent who explains overmuch, who commands overmuch, who excuses overmuch, who restrains overmuch, who interferes overmuch, even the parent who is with the children overmuch, does away with the dignity and simplicity of that relationship which, like all the best and most delicate things in life, suffer by being asserted or defended." p. 29

I'll be honest, I am anxious sometimes about whether I am doing enough for my children. I teach them many good things, and neglect others. I see things other parents neglect and worry about my own blind spots. I know I have them. Charlotte Mason reminds me that the mere fact of the relationships in our home is enough. It is enough that they live in a home where their father and mother love the Lord, love each other, and love them. It is enough that they know that we are in authority over them, however imperfectly that may be carried out from day to day. It is enough that they feel secure and loved. It is enough that they know that there is right and wrong, and that they must choose the right.

Trust Your Children
Though Charlotte Mason herself was not a parent, she knew perfectly well that children are often testing the limits, seeing how far they can go. Parents must be alert in their authority, and yet, in balance, they must also give their children the trust and freedom to choose the right.

"Every time a child feels that he chooses to obey of his own accord, his power of initiative is strengthened." p. 31

"He must be treated with full confidence, and must feel that right-doing is his own free choice, which his parents trust him to make; but he must also be very well aware of the deterrent force in the background, watchful to hinder him when he would do wrong." p. 32

This is, of course, how we live as adults. We make our own free choices, and yet we do not feel free to break the law or to hurt others, for example. As Christians, the Holy Spirit guides us and convicts us. And here is the heart of the matter.

Trust the Lord
Do we trust the Lord himself to be working in the hearts of our children? If we do not, will it not all be in vain, no matter how much anxious labour we put into it? But if we do trust Him, we can have peace, and in that peace, allow our children the freedom to be led by the Spirit instead of constantly hovered over by ourselves. We can be diligent, and yet not anxious.

"When we recognise that God does not make over the bringing up of children absolutely even to their parents, but that He works Himself, in ways which it must be our care not to hinder, in the training of every child, then we shall learn passiveness, humble and wise. We shall give children space to develop on the lines of their own characters in all right ways, and shall know how to intervene effectually to prevent those errors which, also, are proper to their individual characters." p. 35

A Personal Note
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I have a sibling (adult) who has been making many unwise choices lately. And I have been afraid. We grew up in a stable, Christian home. We were loved. We knew what was right and wrong. My parents were not perfect parents. I notice that my husband and I are not perfect parents either, and I wonder what will become of our own children when they go out in the world and make their own choices. Is it really enough that we love them and that we do our best to nurture them in the fear of the Lord? Is it really enough to trust the Spirit to work in their hearts? Can we let go and allow them to make mistakes, even really, really bad ones? It is a sobering thought that children are born persons, and that they can choose to resist the Spirit's work, too. That they can start on a destructive path that leads far from God. That our own children will choose for themselves some day whom they will serve.

And yet I must choose this path of trust. My anxiety, my fussiness, my hovering and controlling will not add anything good. The grace of God is our only hope, whatever our children choose in the future. And we know it is Amazing Grace.